When we got you home from the hospital you were such a joy. I'm sure every parent feels like they have to say that about their babies, but you truly were. In fact, I think secretly I'm scared to have another child because I'm afraid it won't be as good as it was with you. From the time you got home, you were content with yourself. You never required a lot of entertainment, although you got attached to nursing very quickly and decided that nursing all day was the latest rage, and you were full of laughter.
The first night home, I put you in the cradle that I had so lovingly placed by my bed. You were so pretty laying there and I couldn't believe I was the mother of a daughter. I settled into bed and closed my eyes. Five minutes later I was checking to be sure you were still breathing. You were. I settled down again. Five minutes later I was positive you had stopped breathing. You were still breathing. Your dad asked me what was up, and I said "I keep thinking she stopped breathing" he said you were fine and turned over to sleep. I tried putting my hand on your chest but then I pulled the side of the cradle down and you were starting to fidget. I dozed off and woke up with a start...of course, sure you weren't breathing.
Finally, I'd had enough. I took you out of the cradle and brought you into bed next to me and we both went fast asleep. During the night, you woke up one time to nurse 8 hrs after I had brought you to bed. It was official. Your first night home and you had slept through the night. It was also official that we weren't going to be using that cradle anytime soon.
For the next four years, you would sleep in our bed, right where we wanted you.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Friday, December 7, 2007
Finally, you are born
The last two weeks of my pregnancy were torture! I was all set to have you and then you decided to stay put. The week before you were born, your daddy went to Florida on a business trip. We were so worried you would come that week and he would miss the birth. Then there was a hurricane in Florida that delayed his flight home. Finally they let him fly home but then the hurricane was in Connecticut so he couldn't come home!
I was a mess!
Then I caught a cold and I was ready for you to be here so I could take some medicine for my cold. I went to my doctor's appointment that Friday and he said he would induce but I chickened out. I ran to your daddy's work to meet his new coworkers and let them see me while I was still pregnant. Good thing because that wouldn't be for long!
That night we rented The Mummy to watch on TV. I was starting to feel icky. I felt a little nauseous and tired. I slept on and off during the movie. When I woke up at 9pm I knew you were coming. I started making your dad help me get everything ready because we still had some stuff to stick in storage piled in the living room. Finally at 1am, I let your dad go to bed and I laid down to try to get some sleep. Forget that! I was starting to feel very crampy. I called your grammy to let her know that I was probably going into labor very soon. She was positive this was it and said they were going to be getting in the car to come down. It was a 4 hour drive from NH so I told her not to do it, but she insisted this was it and she was on her way!
I packed up my bag for the hospital and got all of my stuff ready just in case. At 3am, I took a shower and then logged into a game I played with your dad. The people on there helped me time my contractions while we took bets to see if you were a boy or a girl and everyone chimed in their ideas of what your name should be.
At 4am, I called my doctor's office because my contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. They said to come on in so we headed to Super Kmart to pick up some things before we came in. At 5:45, we arrived at the hospital. The nurse didn't believe I was in labor which was so annoying! They didn't give me a room until 7:30am! Finally the doctor said "Yep! You're in labor!"
That's when the fun started! They hooked me up to a million machines (okay it was two) and your grammy and grandpop came in! They had made it. I was so glad that you would have someone to visit you your first day here because none of my family was able to make it out.
At 10:30, they booted your Grammy and Grandpop out of the room because it was time to push. I pushed for two hours and finally your daddy said "It's a girl!"
You were so alert had your eyes open right away and just so strong! You were looking at everyone and trying to hold your head up, it was amazing. That first day you were here I was just in awe of who you were and how amazing you were already.
I was a mess!
Then I caught a cold and I was ready for you to be here so I could take some medicine for my cold. I went to my doctor's appointment that Friday and he said he would induce but I chickened out. I ran to your daddy's work to meet his new coworkers and let them see me while I was still pregnant. Good thing because that wouldn't be for long!
That night we rented The Mummy to watch on TV. I was starting to feel icky. I felt a little nauseous and tired. I slept on and off during the movie. When I woke up at 9pm I knew you were coming. I started making your dad help me get everything ready because we still had some stuff to stick in storage piled in the living room. Finally at 1am, I let your dad go to bed and I laid down to try to get some sleep. Forget that! I was starting to feel very crampy. I called your grammy to let her know that I was probably going into labor very soon. She was positive this was it and said they were going to be getting in the car to come down. It was a 4 hour drive from NH so I told her not to do it, but she insisted this was it and she was on her way!
I packed up my bag for the hospital and got all of my stuff ready just in case. At 3am, I took a shower and then logged into a game I played with your dad. The people on there helped me time my contractions while we took bets to see if you were a boy or a girl and everyone chimed in their ideas of what your name should be.
At 4am, I called my doctor's office because my contractions were 5-7 minutes apart. They said to come on in so we headed to Super Kmart to pick up some things before we came in. At 5:45, we arrived at the hospital. The nurse didn't believe I was in labor which was so annoying! They didn't give me a room until 7:30am! Finally the doctor said "Yep! You're in labor!"
That's when the fun started! They hooked me up to a million machines (okay it was two) and your grammy and grandpop came in! They had made it. I was so glad that you would have someone to visit you your first day here because none of my family was able to make it out.
At 10:30, they booted your Grammy and Grandpop out of the room because it was time to push. I pushed for two hours and finally your daddy said "It's a girl!"
You were so alert had your eyes open right away and just so strong! You were looking at everyone and trying to hold your head up, it was amazing. That first day you were here I was just in awe of who you were and how amazing you were already.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Pregnancy
When your dad and I decided it was time to have you, we had been married for just under a year. It was not a good time for baby having, we had just barely moved into a new place and I was working a new job, but it was 1999 and the whole country was positive that Y2K was going to be a disaster and we would need to have a baby now if we were to have one. Who knew what would happen after Y2K and we didn't want to have to hold off our baby plans until afterward.
So we got pregnant with you in January. I was so excited and nervous! I really wanted a boy and for the longest time everyone was convinced you would be one. Your grandma Neumann and aunt Christine weren't so sure, but everyone else agreed you were a boy.
We were going to name you Caleb because it was a name I had wanted to name my son for a very long time. Your daddy and I decided that we better pick a name in case you were a girl. For a couple of years he had used the name Audrial when he would play a female character in games and I really liked the name. So one day I said I think if it's a girl I would like it to be named Audrial and he thought that would be great so your name was decided.
At first, the pregnancy was AWFUL. I swore up and down I never wanted to be pregnant again. I was sick all the time it was terrible. Then one day it was like a switch was flipped. I woke up and didn't puke and that was that, it was over.
I rented one of those doppler things that let you hear the baby's heartbeat and listened to you almost every day. I played your heartbeat for all of my family members and anyone who would listen. I started stocking up on baby clothes and supplies and reading every book I could to get all of the information on babies as possible.
Your nursery was classic pooh. I had the whole side of our bedroom decorated for you with classic pooh cradle accessories and crib sets. eBay became my friend and enemy! Then we waited. While we waited I crocheted a white blanket to match your coming home outfit. You had the same outfit your daddy had come home from the hospital in.
For the most part, the whole pregnancy I felt fabulous. After the beginning sick as a dog part, the rest of it was wonderful. Your daddy and I hiked all the time during my pregnancy while we waited for the day we would take you with us.
So we got pregnant with you in January. I was so excited and nervous! I really wanted a boy and for the longest time everyone was convinced you would be one. Your grandma Neumann and aunt Christine weren't so sure, but everyone else agreed you were a boy.
We were going to name you Caleb because it was a name I had wanted to name my son for a very long time. Your daddy and I decided that we better pick a name in case you were a girl. For a couple of years he had used the name Audrial when he would play a female character in games and I really liked the name. So one day I said I think if it's a girl I would like it to be named Audrial and he thought that would be great so your name was decided.
At first, the pregnancy was AWFUL. I swore up and down I never wanted to be pregnant again. I was sick all the time it was terrible. Then one day it was like a switch was flipped. I woke up and didn't puke and that was that, it was over.
I rented one of those doppler things that let you hear the baby's heartbeat and listened to you almost every day. I played your heartbeat for all of my family members and anyone who would listen. I started stocking up on baby clothes and supplies and reading every book I could to get all of the information on babies as possible.
Your nursery was classic pooh. I had the whole side of our bedroom decorated for you with classic pooh cradle accessories and crib sets. eBay became my friend and enemy! Then we waited. While we waited I crocheted a white blanket to match your coming home outfit. You had the same outfit your daddy had come home from the hospital in.
For the most part, the whole pregnancy I felt fabulous. After the beginning sick as a dog part, the rest of it was wonderful. Your daddy and I hiked all the time during my pregnancy while we waited for the day we would take you with us.
Background
I am a single, divorced mother of one very intelligent little girl. This blog is my spot to write to her in case something happens and I never get a chance to say what I want to say to her.
I have some letters, and another journal I had written to her when I was hospitalized while she was a baby, but I want to have an electronic version of some of my thoughts just in case.
If you've stumbled here and want to stay, you're welcome to. This diary doesn't accept comments because it is only meant for my daughter to read.
I have some letters, and another journal I had written to her when I was hospitalized while she was a baby, but I want to have an electronic version of some of my thoughts just in case.
If you've stumbled here and want to stay, you're welcome to. This diary doesn't accept comments because it is only meant for my daughter to read.
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