You stated something recently in a therapy session that has me thinking. You stated that you don't get to have a hard life because mine was so much worse than yours.
I want you to know, that isn't true. Your life is hard. You are young, growing, learning, and life's lessons are hard no matter where you learn them or how loving your home is.
I try very hard to make your life as easy as possible, but I want you to know and understand that life is hard. Just because some people have it harder than you do, doesn't make your life easy. It just makes their life harder.
Feel free to feel sad when sadness comes and mad when anger comes, I promise not to tell you that you don't have the right to feel what you feel.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Christianity
As you know, I am a Christian. My faith is something I have tried hard to share with you but I don't know if you understand my faith or not.
I hope you are a Christian when you grow up. I would love to share that with you. I would love knowing that you believe what I believe. Not only because I think it is true, but because I want you to have the peace that I have from my faith.
If you don't, I promise not to get angry.
I hope you are a Christian when you grow up. I would love to share that with you. I would love knowing that you believe what I believe. Not only because I think it is true, but because I want you to have the peace that I have from my faith.
If you don't, I promise not to get angry.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Fun Memories
Some of my favorite memories of you as a baby:
When you were just a baby you were so sensitive to everyone around you. If you saw anyone crying, you would start crying, jutting your tiny lip out and your eyes would fill up with tears. You had the best little cry face.
When you were a toddler you climbed before you walked! Your daddy was so proud of this fact, lol. We have pictures of you climbing up a kitchen set you had and you aren't even a year old yet. You were a climbing monkey.
When you got angry as a little girl you would cross your arms and make a "HMPH!" sound. Very rarely did you ever throw a temper tantrum, just HMPH and move on.
We had to bribe you with Barbie to get you to potty train, LOL.
One time, you were about 2.5 yrs old, I bought my big King Size bed and you needed a footstool to get up on it. So you were walking around the bed and all we could see was this little hair bobbing up and down on the top of your head. Then you tripped over the dog bone and down you went. I almost peed myself laughing. I know it is terrible that I found it so funny but it was hilarious. one minute there was this bobbing thing and the next...gone.
When you were little you asked me where God lives. I told you in the sky, past the clouds and you replied "Oh I thought he lived in New Jersey!"
Your answer to EVERYTHING was "acudge...degone degone" Who knows what it meant.
When you were just a baby you were so sensitive to everyone around you. If you saw anyone crying, you would start crying, jutting your tiny lip out and your eyes would fill up with tears. You had the best little cry face.
When you were a toddler you climbed before you walked! Your daddy was so proud of this fact, lol. We have pictures of you climbing up a kitchen set you had and you aren't even a year old yet. You were a climbing monkey.
When you got angry as a little girl you would cross your arms and make a "HMPH!" sound. Very rarely did you ever throw a temper tantrum, just HMPH and move on.
We had to bribe you with Barbie to get you to potty train, LOL.
One time, you were about 2.5 yrs old, I bought my big King Size bed and you needed a footstool to get up on it. So you were walking around the bed and all we could see was this little hair bobbing up and down on the top of your head. Then you tripped over the dog bone and down you went. I almost peed myself laughing. I know it is terrible that I found it so funny but it was hilarious. one minute there was this bobbing thing and the next...gone.
When you were little you asked me where God lives. I told you in the sky, past the clouds and you replied "Oh I thought he lived in New Jersey!"
Your answer to EVERYTHING was "acudge...degone degone" Who knows what it meant.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012
Well 2011 was really rough for all of us. For you, because you're 12 now and that is such a rough age. Also your dad moved in this year which I am sure was rough on you. Also, Grandpa Griffin died this year.
Thank you so much for your strength and patience as we dealt with problem upon problem this year. Your faith in me, Doug, and your father has been amazing.
Now it is a new year, and you will turn 13 this year.
Wow.
My baby girl, all grown up, turning into a teen. A teen! Can you believe it?
I am so excited for who you are and what you have become. At fest this year you were such an advocate, but not just an advocate, an articulate passionate well informed advocate. You believed in something and defended it aptly and appropriately without hate and negative speech, but with clear, concise arguments.
I was in awe watching you speak and watching you become your own person with your own viewpoints and opinions. The passion that you had when you were defending your rights and the festival that has become so important to you was inspiring. I am so proud of you and watching you come into your wonderful person is amazing to watch.
You've made some poor decisions, and for the life of me I cannot get you to see how important your self worth is to you. When you dress trashy or wear makeup too heavy people think you are cheap and easy, not that you are precious and to be cherished. I know you're growing up and trying out your own things, but it is difficult to watch you make decisions that affect your future and could cost you your life. Chatting with people you don't know, agreeing to strip on the internet, this stuff is risky stuff and stuff you're not ready to deal with the consequences with.
Another thing you struggle with is following the rules whether you agree with them or not. Audrial, this world is full of rules. From laws enforceable by police and court systems to expectations we place on ourselves and others. Navigating within those guidelines is important. Sure, there are times when violating the rules makes sense. However, violating a rule just because you don't agree with it is not acceptable. Hopefully you embrace this soon, because if you don't, you will experience so many more struggles and disappointments than you need to.
There is a time to be stubborn and a time to go along with things simply because it is easier. The important lesson is learning how to tell the difference.
Regardless you are an amazing daughter. I feel lucky every day to have you in my life. My hopes this year is that you continue to come into your own and continue to find your voice. You are beautiful and I am so proud of you.
Thank you so much for your strength and patience as we dealt with problem upon problem this year. Your faith in me, Doug, and your father has been amazing.
Now it is a new year, and you will turn 13 this year.
Wow.
My baby girl, all grown up, turning into a teen. A teen! Can you believe it?
I am so excited for who you are and what you have become. At fest this year you were such an advocate, but not just an advocate, an articulate passionate well informed advocate. You believed in something and defended it aptly and appropriately without hate and negative speech, but with clear, concise arguments.
I was in awe watching you speak and watching you become your own person with your own viewpoints and opinions. The passion that you had when you were defending your rights and the festival that has become so important to you was inspiring. I am so proud of you and watching you come into your wonderful person is amazing to watch.
You've made some poor decisions, and for the life of me I cannot get you to see how important your self worth is to you. When you dress trashy or wear makeup too heavy people think you are cheap and easy, not that you are precious and to be cherished. I know you're growing up and trying out your own things, but it is difficult to watch you make decisions that affect your future and could cost you your life. Chatting with people you don't know, agreeing to strip on the internet, this stuff is risky stuff and stuff you're not ready to deal with the consequences with.
Another thing you struggle with is following the rules whether you agree with them or not. Audrial, this world is full of rules. From laws enforceable by police and court systems to expectations we place on ourselves and others. Navigating within those guidelines is important. Sure, there are times when violating the rules makes sense. However, violating a rule just because you don't agree with it is not acceptable. Hopefully you embrace this soon, because if you don't, you will experience so many more struggles and disappointments than you need to.
There is a time to be stubborn and a time to go along with things simply because it is easier. The important lesson is learning how to tell the difference.
Regardless you are an amazing daughter. I feel lucky every day to have you in my life. My hopes this year is that you continue to come into your own and continue to find your voice. You are beautiful and I am so proud of you.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Hard lessons
Ay mi vida....it is hard to watch you make mistakes and even more difficult to dole out the punishment that you need.
Perfection is not what I want from you, but I do expect behavior that is appropriate.
I know you're frustrated and I know that life sucks right now for all of us, but like I said, it is only temporary. EVERYTHING is temporary.
Please remember, long after what happened today is a distant memory and you are scratching your head as you read this trying to figure out what you did that caused this post....(ended up sent to the Principal's office three days in a row...just in case you actually did forget ;) ) EVERYTHING is temporary.
No matter the struggle, no matter how desperate your situation may seem or how miserable life is currently making you, it is all temporary. It will change, you might not be able to see it, but it will. Please don't do anything permanent because of a temporary problem...and in case you forgot.. EVERYTHING is temporary.
Moms bury their children all the time, and children bury their moms all the time because they lost sight of this...don't be one of those mi hijita. You have far too much to offer to give in to a temporary problem.
I love you. I am proud of you. I am here for you...even when I'm not. I know I work too much, I'm gone too much, I'm too busy, too exhausted, and too unavailable...but it is only temporary mi vida...this will pass and be a distant memory.
Te amo mi vida, te amo.
Perfection is not what I want from you, but I do expect behavior that is appropriate.
I know you're frustrated and I know that life sucks right now for all of us, but like I said, it is only temporary. EVERYTHING is temporary.
Please remember, long after what happened today is a distant memory and you are scratching your head as you read this trying to figure out what you did that caused this post....(ended up sent to the Principal's office three days in a row...just in case you actually did forget ;) ) EVERYTHING is temporary.
No matter the struggle, no matter how desperate your situation may seem or how miserable life is currently making you, it is all temporary. It will change, you might not be able to see it, but it will. Please don't do anything permanent because of a temporary problem...and in case you forgot.. EVERYTHING is temporary.
Moms bury their children all the time, and children bury their moms all the time because they lost sight of this...don't be one of those mi hijita. You have far too much to offer to give in to a temporary problem.
I love you. I am proud of you. I am here for you...even when I'm not. I know I work too much, I'm gone too much, I'm too busy, too exhausted, and too unavailable...but it is only temporary mi vida...this will pass and be a distant memory.
Te amo mi vida, te amo.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Responsibility
So today we had to decide to list your ferret on craigslist. You just aren't taking care of her and as much as I know you love her, she needs to be taken care of and requires a lot of time. After you settled down about it, I asked you why you weren't taking care of her and you said you couldn't remember to.
I suggested various ways you could remind yourself, you could set up various reminders to remember or you could ask an adult to remind you. There is no shame in not remembering, but you need to acknowledge this part of you in order to fix it.
Responsibility comes with age, comes with status, comes with education, etc. As you grow older, responsibilities will pile up and become more numerous. It will be up to you and you alone to decide how much or how little responsibility you're willing to have for things.
I suggested various ways you could remind yourself, you could set up various reminders to remember or you could ask an adult to remind you. There is no shame in not remembering, but you need to acknowledge this part of you in order to fix it.
Responsibility comes with age, comes with status, comes with education, etc. As you grow older, responsibilities will pile up and become more numerous. It will be up to you and you alone to decide how much or how little responsibility you're willing to have for things.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year
Happy New Year mi hijita.
Well you're 11 years old now and well on your way to becoming quite the teenager. Right now you're crashed out on the couch after a weekend of fun with your friends. Sure there was drama but that's where the most important lessons are found.
I watch you liking this one boy and he doesn't like you back. I see your hope every time he shows up at the door and I see your heartache when he tells you all about the latest girl he's seeing. Yeah, he's 11 and so are you, but I basically want to pound his face in.
You are so valuable and I know you don't see it yet, I hope you see it eventually one day. Still, it is hard to see you hurting, hard to see you struggle.
Please learn the important things that drama brings. Learn how to treat and how to be treated. It really is true, people will treat you how you let them treat you. Stand up for yourself and do not apologize for how you feel...treat people with respect, but don't let them walk all over you.
Most of all, don't let anyone tell you who you are. Not even me :)
Well you're 11 years old now and well on your way to becoming quite the teenager. Right now you're crashed out on the couch after a weekend of fun with your friends. Sure there was drama but that's where the most important lessons are found.
I watch you liking this one boy and he doesn't like you back. I see your hope every time he shows up at the door and I see your heartache when he tells you all about the latest girl he's seeing. Yeah, he's 11 and so are you, but I basically want to pound his face in.
You are so valuable and I know you don't see it yet, I hope you see it eventually one day. Still, it is hard to see you hurting, hard to see you struggle.
Please learn the important things that drama brings. Learn how to treat and how to be treated. It really is true, people will treat you how you let them treat you. Stand up for yourself and do not apologize for how you feel...treat people with respect, but don't let them walk all over you.
Most of all, don't let anyone tell you who you are. Not even me :)
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